Fat Boy Slim and the Blue Horizon

When I got to the gym last night all four jogging machines were occupied. This upset my routine in which I like to start my little circuit with a run. What made it worse was the manner in which the machines were being used - four young girls aged about 12 I guess were using the machines in some sort of bonding exercise. To further facilitate their bonding they wanted to talk and in order to do this they had the speed set to 'gentle stroll'.

"Whats the point?!...and let go of the hand rail - why occupy a machine and then skive on it?" was the theme of my internal dialogue as a slunk away to use a cross trainer - a far inferior piece of kit to the joggers for my purposes I thought.

A few years ago I attended some buddhist meditation classes during a rather dark period in my life - they really worked and I would highly recommend learning the technique. Anyway, one week the monk told a story about his car driving experiences. He considered himself a courteous and law abiding driver. Other drivers would use a range of intimidatory techniques to "encourage" him to speed up, change lane or whatever. Instead of responding to these bullying tactics and enagaging in some road rage himself, he used to mentally thank the other drivers for forcing him to exercise self control by saying to himself "thank you for being my teacher". Why waste all of that negative energy ranting and raving and geeting worked up for such little gain? I've used this myself since that day and have found it very useful in situations where the other alternative is dunderheaded "my Dad's bigger than your Dad" or brinkmanship responses.

Back to me having a think on the cross trainer. Using logic rather than emotion I began to recognise: the girls had every right to be on the machines and use them how they wanted - they were there before me. Their visit to the gym may not have been entirely about exercise but it did give them somewhere safe to meet and who could begrudge them that? I had become slave to a routine that I can't control - a jogger will not be kept free for me just because I want it when I want it; I was therefore setting myself up for irritation. "You're turning in to Victor Meldrew" I told myself.

Do you know what? I actually enjoyed using the cross trainer - it gave me better work out than I expected and I got on the jogger anyway a bit later. No-one died. The girls had a good time (as far as I can tell since they wore the conspiratorial perma-scowl of hormonal teenagers in adult controlled environments everywhere!). I moved forward on my get fit/lose the lard journey.

Key facts:
A week into this and my weight is now 101.5kgs (target 87kgs). So I've lost about 6 or 7 of your English pounds this week. Huzzah!
Jogging - don't know, possibly a little better. See lesson learned above. Tell you what though - my energy levels are on the up and my brain is working better than for some time. There might be something in all of this.

Thank you girls for being my teacher.

This past weekend I attended the reunion of a ship I was on in the navy. I met people that I hadn't seen for over 25 years.

So why bother now? If they were really my friends, surely I'd have bothered to see them before now? Those friendships, forged under the circumstances they were, are rather special in my opinion. We sailed together to the Far East and Australasia in the late 70's on a voyage that took 9 months. It turned out to be the last voyage of that length undertaken by the Royal Navy by a single crew. The many days and nights at sea living in very close proximity to one another (a standard modern dining room in a semi would have accomodated about 12 men), making our own entertainment (no satellite tellies and mobile 'phones then!) and sharing adventures in various ports around the world forged a bond between us. Probably very few of us would have chosen each other as friends in a free market, but our shared experience, the need to help each other and to be, to some extent, family for each other created something rather precious.

When I met up with my old shipmates on Saturday it was as if we had seen each other only last week. I've had a think about this and I reckon that forces friendships and civvie ones (I have both of course - one isn't better than the other)are different because the rules are different. In the navy the first concern was to look after each other - the ship and one's shipmates on whom your life might one day depend - and only then start to worry about oneself. In Civvy St I have found it to be generally case that one gets oneself sorted out first and only then go on to look after others. I'm making huge generalisations here of course and there will be exceptions, but my explanation seems to fit the situation on Saturday when within five minutes of meeting again we were trusting people with highly personal information, each others valuables and were keeping an eye out for each other.

Do I miss it? Of course I do, but I was a different person then and it was a high octane lifestyle. I was there and did it and had my day in the sun but there is no profit in constantly looking back and I seek my friends and pleasures in other ways now.

Anyway, the reunion was not good for any healthy eating plans I had. Worse still, we have friends coming to stay next weekend and then we go away to stay with yet more friends the following weekend. Still, we are where we are and I'll do my best without being a matyr. I've been to the gym again and I'll try to eat as sensibly as I can when it doesn't interfere with having a good time!

I ran 3.24kms in exactly 20 mins (Average speed=9.7kms/hr). So that shows a bit of an improvement.
My weight is 103.5 kgs though. The weekend's excesses have come back to bite me.

Ho hum. Wellbeing is a journey though, not a destination right? I just stopped off in the service area. I'll set off again soon...

Mixed, but on balance, good stuff to report (not including the codicil).
I wasn't able to resist polishing of the opened bottle of Sauvignon Blanc in the 'fridge last night. I dislike that part of me that crumbles so readily in the face of temptation. This is an excuse coming up, but I DO think it is something to do with having had a tightly controlled childhood and now I'm a grown-up if I want to do stuff,I will. As excuses go it's a pretty poor one eh? I might as well 'fess up to the whole thing now I've started - once that bottle was drained I started (but didn't finish, good for me) another. Breaking strain of a warm Mars Bar, what's to do about it?

The good news however is that I did indeed make it to the gym. I did an hour of pretty much constant exercise, hopping from station to station. I'm going to use my jogging as the bellweather of any progress I make, although I refuse to be a slave to targets and constant improvement - I've been here too many times before to have eventually learned to like myself a bit more and if it hurts I stop, regardless of whether I'm "doing worse" than last time or not.

So here are the salient facts:

Today's weight: Probably the same as yesterday (104 kgs). No point in daily weighing.
Today's Jog: 3km in 19mins 20 secs (Average Speed 9.4kms/hr)

Its a start.

Today a friend of ours (more my wife's actually) will have her funeral. She died in her mid-forties, last week, from breast cancer. She leaves a husband and 2 children. If you only think of her for just a second today, and enough people read this, we can send her (Chris) and her family a whole bunch of love. 5 seconds of your time is even better. Thanks in advance.

Rob

This is my very first entry in my very first blog. I don't know where it will go or what I'll choose to write about but you're more than welcome on the journey!

Maybe I'll write about music I like - that seems to be a very popular theme though so I'm not sure. Others will be writing more entertainingly/knowledgeably on that theme than me.

Or I might write about other interests I have. These include (in no particular order) cooking, eating, drinking, radio comedy, British film 1930-1970, books, poetry, walking, flyfishing and all sorts of other stuff in which I dabble.

Something that has occupied my thoughts a lot recently is my general level of non-fitness. I used to be pretty fit and go off to the gym regularly. Then I got a job where I stayed in a hotel all week, just getting home at weekends. That was two years ago now and it is when the rot set in. I used to stay at work until late, eat rubbish and be generally sedentary. I've finished there now but can't seem to get back in to the exercise groove. First defeat was buying 38" waist trousers. Next it was 16" shirts. Then the trousers went to 40" waist. Looking bad. Could really do with 42" now but refuse to acknowledge the fact. Perhaps I'll burn more fat in tightly fitting clothes...

Its like I've lost my mojo and gained a permanently expanded waistband. I've got wardrobes full of clothes which once fitted me and which I hang on to in the sure and certain hope that they'll fit me again one day! (This probably sounds very familiar to any female readers).

So I've joined a gym - I even went along for the induction session (no exercise involved!). That was two months ago. Since then...nada, nothing, nix. I just sit around worrying about the effect of my excess lard on my health but doing bugger all about it! I feel like I'm a stranger to myself at the moment - this isn't me, this lethargic, couldn't care less blob. I don't know that person and yet they inhabit my skin. Scary eh?

I'm fifty for goodness sake - surely I'm allowed to lounge around with a remote in my hand now? Its not what I want though - I want pep, and vim (just what exactly is "vim"?)and vigour. I know that being fit will give me these but right now I can't be arsed, and it is a trap of my own making. Fifty is the new sixty for me right now. I have become old git man.

So I'm going to use this blog to record my attempts to break free of the chains of lethargy. Perhaps I'll adopt a Bridget Jones style of diary entry:

Weight today: 104 kgs.
Target: 87 kgs.
Exercise today: Jumped around a lot this morning when I burned my finger making a fried egg sandwich.
Calories consumed: Who knows? The day is young!
Thing I will do to be good today: No alcohol.

Well, I've got to start somewhere...wish me luck!